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**Disclaimer – I know this is judgmental. I don’t care to have a discussion about it! Get your own tinder account and swipe right on whoever you want.

tinder dating
After my divorce, I was introduced to a new, hellish form of dating. It’s jam packed with snap judgments, preconceived notions, and horny dudes. If you’re single and dating like I am, you know all about tinder.

As much as we all hate it, I don’t think it’s going away. For girls like me (BUSY as hell) it’s kind of the only way to connect with single guys anymore. After a few months in this awful game of phones, I’ve created my own personal list of tinder fouls. You’re going to want to keep reading.

This Is What I’ve Surmised of Tinder Thus Far:

I’m thinking maybe 1 out of 20 guys are what I would consider dateable dudes: don’t live with their parents, have steady careers, family guys, college grads, who don’t sit at home and play video games. That doesn’t mean they’re all attractive, that doesn’t mean they’re each a guy that I might have a connection with.

Sometimes they seem like they’re super normal but out of nowhere they start sending you shirtless selfies (and they aren’t at the beach) and you know what that means…Oh, you don’t!? Okay if a stranger sends you a picture of himself with his shirt off any time after the sun has gone down, he’s hoping you’ll return the favor. These “men” run rampant on tinder. So watch out!

I look for the 7 or 8’s of the bunch. 9’s and 10’s freak me out. They’re too good looking. Super good looking guys on tinder are either fake profiles, looking for a freaky hook-up, usually date way prettier girls than me, and basically I think they’re single for a reason. I’ve found that mega babes who resort to tinder for dating end up being undatable for one reason or another: they’re super picky, they have weird addictions, they’re noncommittal, etc. The point is, I steer clear.
Other things I swipe left for :

    • a profile chock full of selfiesAre you always alone? Do you have any friends?
    • gym selfies
    • shirtless selfies – guhhh
    • middle fingersDo you hug your mother with those hands!?
    • open containers 
    • pics with slutty girls
    • tons of tats (I’m just not into it)
    • Cowboy hats (again, not a lifestyle we have in common)

In their profile, if they say “Girls who don’t (blah blah blah), swipe left” I swipe left. No matter what the qualification is. This means they’re probably as picky and judgmental as I am and we don’t need two of those in a relationship.

Video gamers. Next…

Any mention of physical fitness being SUPER important to them is something I immediately swipe left on. It’s important to be healthy, but it’s is NOT super important to me to be at the gym everyday. Guys that make it a point to stress physical fitness are probably looking for girls that aren’t going to get fat. I like to be active, eat well, and stay in shape. But I WILL GET FAT someday…someday soon. I’m almost 30, I’ve birthed two humans, and I like eating cookies. None of that is changing.

ALL of that being said, I’ll end with this: In one guy’s profile, all it said was “I’ll feed you and tell you you’re beautiful” and he got a swipe right. I’m really not that hard to please.

So for now, as much as I hate saying the words “We met on tinder,”  and as miserable as tinder can be with all of its creeps and pervs, I’ll keep at it a while longer. I’ve met a couple of keepers on there. It just takes a very open mind and a lot of swiping to find them. One day, hopefully sooner than later, I’ll meet someone rad and live happily ever after – never having to use tinder again. *heart eyes emoji*