Yep. Just one more…one more bad one and I’m buying a cat.
I’ve had my heart broken a few times in my adult life. First was ExHusband. Once he had left me for his coworker, I plummeted into a dark place – It sucked. I knew that it was over with him but yet the idea of being with another man was gut wrenching. I’d look at attractive men and try to imagine feeling the feels with them, or even being physical with them and I wanted to barf. It took me a long time to get passed that.
Then I met Dentist! Dentist was so different than anyone I had ever dated. It was really good for me because it showed me that I could have the desire to be with someone again, that I could feel the feels and want to touch his butt and stuff. Also, he was a big step up from ExHusband. That was big for me too because it made me realize that there actually were good guys out there and I should be aiming much higher than I had in the past. I needed to look for men who worked hard, who stuck to their commitments, who sought after God, and who I had more things in common with.
But he dumped me… and I was back to being devastated! I’m not kidding when I tell you ALL I could think about was how I’d be alone forever and how I needed to just get used to it.
After a few months I met Guy. (all names in this story have been changed to protect dumpees privacy, duh)…I fell for him instantly! Head over heals. I’m seriously such a sucker. But he’s been the best one yet. We had an amazing relationship. But, like lots of men I’m realizing, he couldn’t pull the trigger. So after 9 pretty blissful months, he dumped me too. It’s been two months since we broke up and I still struggle with loneliness and mostly HOPELESSness.
Will I ever meet someone who will love me enough to marry me AND my girls? Will I have to settle, like so many single moms, for an ‘okay’ guy because the few amazing men left have their pick of all the great single girls who don’t have ex husbands to deal with?
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just have to Gilmore Girls’ it…be single for a good 20 years.
I’ve met weirdo after weirdo on tinder. Thanks for that, tinder. Soon I’ll start posting my insanely awkward tinder stories. But for now, I just want to end by saying this:
I’ve met a couple of good guys on tinder lately. They may or may not stick around for long, but I’m feeling more hopeful today than I did yesterday. I’m grateful for this good reminder that another fish usually comes along… even if 3 out of 5 are fishing for nudes. (*initiate eye roll.)